


As I Lie Bleeding

by taichara



Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X
Genre: Alternate Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 00:39:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5847163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taichara/pseuds/taichara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things come in cycles; and X is not about to explain it, only remember it.</p>
<p>In the same universe as, and some time after, <i>What Should Be Done</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As I Lie Bleeding

It falls like teardrops, slowly, softly;  
tracing a trail of silky crimson down his throat, lining one slim shoulder in slick scarlet wetness.  
It falls like the rain, slick against the glass he leans against; and like the rain will pass in time.  
The clouds will fade, the savaged flesh knit itself whole once again.

Limp as a doll left tossed aside, he leans against the window-pane and watches the storm.  
The glass is cool, soothing to skin hot from a desperate drive to mend itself.  
But eyes as black as emerald slide slowly closed; a storm within, to match the storm without

_Should be lying quiet somewhere._  
_Quiet and letting someone patch me together …_  
_… If it's something so easily mended, let me bleed._

Flashes of crimson and gold slip into his life and torn away again;  
like spirit and blood, like flesh and circuitry under sharp white fangs.  
It's always the same, in the end; alone in the end, forever and always.

He closes his eyes against the memories

 

_* watching watching as control is lost blue eyes like frightened sapphire locked on him *_

_* drawing the knife -– 'I want this, I want to do this' -– *_

_* pale hand stroking soft amber mane as he drinks and then -– *_

_* the sound of animal guilt from a throat that cannot cry *_

 

_I couldn't let you kill yourself_

 

_* a demon of light and fire crimson death lift to slaughter the world entire with a smile like a fallen angel *_

_* 'I've never felt so happy' *_

_* then the demon angel came to him *_

_* and left him broken and bleeding *_

 

_And not a drop crossed your lips then -–_

  


… Left him broken and bleeding, the fires tossing him like a discarded doll across the worlds.  
Shattered, useless, picked up and brought away; first by a false friend behind a mask, and then

_And then I saw someone with your face_

Not the same; no, never the same. Never again. But -– but. But someone who could maybe understand –-  
And then, then there were two.  
The one who fought, the one who reached out a hand; and neither needed the knife –-

A single coiling strand of violet-tinged pink, slick against the cool dampness of the glass,  
caught in his own dusty black curls. And as he opens his eyes he sees 

_Only in a mad place like this could I see two of you at once._  
_Two, but not you at all -– and him, wanting to be anything but you._

_And he needed so much_

Shaking, shivering, one ghost-pale hand traces the line of torn and bleeding flesh; the parts  
scissored away with savage surgical precision, the severed relays.  
The metal beneath scarred bright by teeth never once slicked with soul-destroying taint  
even as a nightmare made flesh bid fair to drain him dry.

_It's not like I hadn't done it before._

_You can't win. I've argued down a stronger will than yours._  
_You can't refuse._  
_I won't let you._  
_I won't let anyone else leave --_

Sharp, sharp stab through his very core; and his eyes flutter closed again against the tears  
that slip away unbidden to fall like shining drops of scarlet changed to silver.

It had taken so long to reach out again –- and then he was the one left behind,  
left bleeding again, from a wound unseen; but this time was not the one flung across the worlds.

A line of crimson brilliance slides down his lips to meet the teardrops of his throat.

_It wasn't right of me._  
_There was always someone waiting. I knew that._

_But he hurt -– he hurt and I hurt and I wanted to see him smile -–_  
It wasn't right. And I don't have the right to regret

Will they always leave? If he reached out again to that forbidding face, would he be accepted  
only to be left broken and bled?  
No. Unfair, unfair to even think of it.

_Only in this tangled mess of worlds could I see you in infinite variety --_

_But not you._

_Never you._

A soft, questioning slur of words, disjointed, behind him at the door; a blur of pale violet and rose and confused blue eyes. Yes, I should be resting. No, it's alright, you didn't take too much, I'm fine …

It takes pleading, almost, his voice about to crack and betray him utterly;  
but soon the rosy apparition bows head and retreats, confused but conceding, and he leans against the glass again.

_I would give everything there is_

The other amber shadow, now; harsh and cool as steel, angered beyond words when he gives up a fragment of his life. Will he be next, now, slipping away like raindrops down the glass?

Too much to think about. Too little left to guess.

That brilliant burning sabre he's kept clutched so tight is so often seen, and they think it a symbol of his loss;  
and so it was, so it always would be.

But the small and unseen blade nestled so close to flesh and spirit both; that was a thing for no other eyes.

_I would give everything there is of me_


End file.
